Culture Shock!

People who talk about moving to another country may emphasize how different the culture will be and how to deal with culture shock. Spain is a modernized, western country that isn’t too different from the U.S, so in my experience, “shock” isn’t a great way to describe it.

There are some differences, though. Most of these differences are expected, like an outdoor eating culture, beautiful weather, delicious food, friendly and inviting people, and investment into public spaces and infrastructure, but other differences make you go “hmmmmmmm… that’s strange”. In this post, I’ll share a list of those experiences for me.

Personal bubbles

The average personal bubble of the Spanish is vastly different than the typical personal bubble of other cultures. There is a lot more physical contact as well. When I first interacted with my now Spanish partner, I had no clue if she was flirting or just being Spanish (turns out it was the latter… at first). Don’t get the wrong idea! Here are some completely normal things in their culture:

1. Kissing cheeks as a greeting (left then right).
2. Hands on shoulders. Patting backs, and general physical contact (even if you aren’t personally that close).
3. Standing about a foot away when talking (if you take a step back, they will step forward. Ask me how I know, hahahaha).

Here are some things that aren’t normal:

1. Hands on thighs or butt.
2. Kissing lips.
3. Holding hands.
4. Hugs (unless you are friends).

And just to tack this on, since culturally, Spaniards are much less reserved, individuals (especially younger, immature ones – like your students) will not be subtle if they have a crush. I’ve been called “guapo”, “precioso”, “fuerte”, “interesante”, “exotico”, and much more from my students. Yes, I had to have a talk about appropriate behavior with them, but you too may have to deal with that.

Yelling (in certain contexts)

You are guaranteed to see this while living in Spain, especially if you are working in the school system. Raising your voice (within boundaries) and verbally scolding are culturally acceptable in Spain. You will see it happen constantly (it’s a passionate culture).

Instead of detentions or write ups, often times, teachers would just tell off individual students (or classes). You will hear from any given teacher at least one monologue a year about respect. In addition to that, there will be at least one class where instead of continuing with the planned lesson, the teacher stares them down and gives them a stern talking to for the rest of class.

This does not stop in the school system. When you go out in the streets, you will find plenty of women yelling at men (it never happens the opposite way in my experience), adults yelling at children (never cruelly – “¡Marcos, No toques eso! Que no, pórtate bien.”), and children yelling at children (cruelly, hahaha). You can’t really call yourself fully integrated until you have seen a couple on a moped with the woman yelling at the man driving.

Everyone is talking to their mom

Mothers in Spain have a hard time letting their little birdies leave the nest. Children become independent much later in life, and above all, they are constantly in communication with their moms. You may notice that a large percentage of people in Spain are always talking on the phone whether it be on the bus, on the subway, or walking on the street. If you ever pay attention, half of those phone calls are with their moms, and the craziest thing is that it will happen regardless of age.

As you can assume, the mother-child relationship is considered sacred above everything. Even if you told your Spanish friend that your mother threatened to kill you and sold you for some Percocets, they would still say, “Well, she is still your mom.”

I believe this is another key reason why Saint Mary is so beloved in Spain.

Spatial awareness

With a very easy-going, relaxed culture along with a lack of personal bubbles, it is a very simple conclusion that Spaniards lack spatial awareness in many contexts. Since Spain actually has infrastructure for non-car traffic, you will get plenty of experience with this fact. These are a couple of examples of the types of people you will run into (literally), when going from place to place.

The meandering grandparents on a stroll.

I probably sound cruel complaining about an old man or woman on a walk, but hear me out. I am convinced that these folks see a young person in a rush and intentionally box them out. They have NBA level skill with their precision. You go left, they go left. You turn right, they turn right. You could have a sidewalk that is 10 feet in width, but just one man or woman with a stroller can make it impossible to pass. And always, as a matter of fact, they will start off in the middle of the sidewalk taking up as much space as possible before they start their box out routine.

Even worse yet, they might have an old dog on a leash. Dogs on leashes sound great, but with that technology, they are able to occupy the entire width of the sidewalk. Grandma walks on the left. The dog is on the right, and the leash connecting them is an effective tripwire.

Groups of Teens

Teens congregate, especially in a country with actual, usable public space, so this is another one of those natural consequences of a good thing. Typically, I don’t mind having to walk around large groups of teens walking shoulder to shoulder to occupy the entirety of the sidewalk, but there is a more dangerous version of this issue:

I don’t know why so many parents are buying electric scooters that can go 35 mph for their kids, but it’s too common. Legally, these scooters should remain on bicycle lanes and off sidewalks, but teens don’t usually follow the rules. Also, when riding in groups, they are just as distracted as when they are walking together, except now, Alejandro is flying towards you at top speed.

I’ve had 2 collisions with a teen on a scooter so far. One incident knocked me on my butt, but the other one, I was prepared for. If you see a group of teens flying towards you, lower your center of mass, drop your shoulder, and prepare for impact. It’s always best to avoid crashes, but when 8 teens occupying the entire walkway fly around a corner, there isn’t much you can do. Anyhow, the teen fell, scraped their knee, complained, then walked home (presumably to see their mom).

This lack of spatial awareness affects many aspects of living in Spain, so be prepared for a few bumps and practice saying “excuse me” in Spanish.

Jamón and other meats

Americans get a very sanitized version of meat consumption. Meat is often prepared and packaged in a way that you could reasonably remain ignorant to its origins. Not in Spain.

Jamón, while delicious, is often sold with the hoof still attached. Other meats such as chicken, pork, and rabbit (yes, rabbit), can be purchased whole. In fact, another delicacy in Spain is roasted piglet (called cochinillo). This dish is often served completely intact. That means all they did was roast the entire piglet, head, hoof, and all.

No imagination is needed to understand where meat comes from if you live in Spain. Personally, I think it’s preferable this way. Even if you aren’t a vegetarian, I think it’s important to recognize where meat comes from. That’s why as a principle, I try to never let food go to waste.

Spicy foods

The Spanish palate just can’t handle spicy food. In my personal opinion, they are worse than the Germans when it comes to spice tolerance. You won’t find spicy peppers in the supermarkets, and good luck finding a restaurant that actually has spicy food.

In fact, at a restaurant if a dish is labelled as “spicy”, when you order it, the waiter or waitress will always reassure you by saying “it’s actually not that spicy”. Damnit, I wanted spicy! That’s why I ordered the spicy dish! Spiciness levels go from nothing to about spicy paprika/black pepper. Even international restaurants like Mexican, Indian, and Thai will often adjust their spiciness levels for the Spanish palate (which basically means almost no heat). Bummer!

Ineffective/uncaring Administrators and Bureaucrats

I’m not painting with broad strokes here. I do not want to wrongfully reinforce the stereotype that Spanish workers are lazy. Many Spanish workers are incredibly hardworking. In fact, a lot of younger employees are pressured into working extra hours off the books to keep up with their workload. My beef is with public employees, specifically, bureaucrats and administrators.

Spain has a weird system for employing civil servants. They have a point system for applicants that consists of long exams (good luck memorizing the constitution and obscure laws related to your field) and quantifying your education, certifications, and work experience. No job interview is required. These placements are highly competitive because they are well paid, have great benefits, and are almost impossible to be fired from. In fact, there is a recent news article about a Spanish civil servant who skipped work for 6 years before getting caught.

Due to this system, there is minimal incentive for some public employees to actually do good work. Of course, public teachers, librarians, police officers, firefighters, and many others are passionate about their jobs and are expected to do good work, but other jobs that involve pencil pushing tend to fly under the radar.

These employees will often provide wrong and misleading information. They will also invent reasons to deny an applicant to avoid work. In fact, there is a specific expression used for this very trend in Spanish “Vuelva usted mañana” (come back tomorrow).

Now that I’ve lived in Spain for 5 years, I have a lot of experience with these employees. When applying for Pareja de Hecho, I had all the required documents in hand, but the bureaucrat refused to take everything insisting that half of it was “unnecessary”. A few weeks later, I received a letter demanding those exact documents.

When applying for my public healthcare card. I came in with the exact documents required again, but the lady at the front desk demanded 5 additional, unrelated documents. Since I lived closeby and was relatively organized, I was able to present the additional documents 30 minutes later. She refused to take those documents and said “Why did you bring me all this? This isn’t required at all. You wasted a lot of paper.” I was fuming!

Over time, you learn how to better manage bureaucrats. If you know your stuff and have brought all the documents required, confidence is everything. When they see that you are unsure about something, that will be an opportunity for them to send you away. Come back tomorrow!

I don’t want this article to put Spain in a negative light. I absolutely love living in Spain. For each negative culture shock, there are 5-10 positive things to say about my experience living here. Every country has their own issues, and I could very well make a much longer list about the reverse culture shock when coming back to America.

Have you ever experienced these mini “shocks”? What surprised you when you moved to Spain?

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