Celebrating 75,000 Views – My Journey to Spain

When I first started writing this blog, I never expected getting this type of interest. I just wanted to create something to help others find their lives in Spain and avoid the uncertainties and anxieties that plague bureaucratic processes here. It’s still only a hobby instead of being my actual job, but a lot of people use the resources I provide which makes me incredibly happy. Thank you so incredibly much for using my blog, sharing it with others, and supporting it!

So to most of you, I am probably just a useful resource that you use when in a panic regarding Spanish bureaucratic requirements, but I’ve had my own extensive journey (and panic) towards finding a life in Spain, and I’d like to share that as we celebrate 75,000 views on my blog.

To make a long story short, I came to Spain for love. I met a Sevillana while studying abroad in Germany from 2016 to 2017. We fell in love, were long distance for a few years, and by using the Auxiliar program, I was able to close the distance where we later on filed for domestic partnership and residency through that partnership. The idea of marrying for papers seemed unromantic to both of us which is why the domestic partnership visa was crucial.

Personal Background:

Although I grew up in a subdivision in Michigan, I have always had a close connection with nature. I have cherished memories of camping in the woods, spending weeks at the family farm helping my cousins with chores, and just plain exploring. The one big rule in my household regarding wandering the neighborhood and woods was that we had to be back home before the streetlights came on.

In school, I was the typical nerdy kid who loved learning. There were multiple Christmases and birthdays where I asked for non-fiction books, and my parents encouraged this passion for learning. Starting at the age of 7, before a quiz or exam, I would employ the help of one of my parents or a brother to quiz me on the test material. I especially had a love of science. Besides the typical sports and music, I also participated in science and math competitions.

When deciding on a language class to meet the foreign language requirement in high school, I chose German instead of Spanish. I realized early on that I would not be able to roll my R’s (still can’t do it well), so why would I learn a language I could never perfect?

Learning a foreign language was beyond interesting to me. I was able to learn about a different culture, food, way of life, and it gave me access to new ideas. Best of all, considering that German is one of the more difficult languages, there was always more to learn.

After graduating from high school, I attended Michigan State University studying Geology and German. I was able to combine my loves of science, nature, and language learning. I especially loved the multiple field excursions made throughout my 4 years at MSU. Rocks tell stories. By analyzing the geology of a specific area, you can make conclusions about its history millions of years ago.

Studying German at university gave me additional motivation. I had access to multiple study abroad programs through MSU. After finishing my 200 levels in German, I signed up for the longest program available: an academic year in Freiburg im Breisgau, and in 2016, I went through the process of moving to Europe for the first time.

Freiburg im Breisgau is the most beautiful city I have ever visited. It is situated in the Black Forest, and due to its unique geography being surrounded by mountains on all sides except the south, it is also the sunniest city in Germany. Continuing to study geology in the mountaineous region of Germany surrounded by dense evergreen forests was everything I wanted. Not only did I love the city views and geography, but I also loved the typical ammenities that many Europeans take for granted.

There was cheap, efficient, and reliable public transport that could take you wherever you wanted. In addition to public transit, the cities were walkable and bikeable. When I tore my ACL and meniscus while rock climbing, I was able to get an MRI, operation, and physical therapy for about 10 euros. There were abundant 3rd places (places outside of work, school, and home) where you could meet up and spend the afternoon without the expectation of buying something, and beautiful outdoor spaces within the city were possible due to driving restrictions within the city center. I also loved the idea of not being defined by your work. Too often, Americans define themselves by their jobs, but individuals contain multitudes.

The one thing that was difficult for me in Germany (besides the language) was making German friends. Most Germans are diplomatic and direct. As an international student only spending 1 year in Freiburg, a lot of Germans didn’t see the friendship investment “worth it”. In fact, after hurting my knee rock climbing, my Geology friend group stated that since I wasn’t able to participate in their excursions and climbing trips, I was “useless” to them. Ouch!

I did, however, make a friend group with Spaniards through my Spanish roommate. I always got on well with her, and secretly thought that she was cute. As the year progressed, we would have deeper and deeper talks about life, our background, and goals for the future, but as someone trying to fully enjoy their year abroad, I thought that the prospect of dating your roommate was a bit dangerous.

The Spanish friend group was loud, energetic, and full of joy. They loved talking, staying out late, and enjoying good food. Besides the part about staying out late, it was a perfect match (I personally believe that a great party ends before 1 in the morning).

As the school year was slowly coming to an end, I decided to take the risk and ask out my now close friend and roommate. I planned an incredibly romantic date taking advantage of the geography and beautiful views over the city at night. We had a picnic, danced at the mountain top, and kissed with a view of Freiburg lit up from the street lights and full moon.

Only a few months later, it was time to head home. The week before my departure, we had many long walks discussing a possible future together and our hopes. We decided to find a way to be together again. It was more difficult than both of us anticipated.

When I landed back in Michigan, we made a routine of video calling every day to talk about anything. We were constantly in contact sharing our feelings, concerns, and dreams. I was finishing my last academic year and quite frankly overwhelmed with the work load. Why did I have to do a double major and a concentration!?!

A few months into the semester, my girlfriend had a health scare. At the time, nothing concrete was diagnosed, but the doctors were concerned. I tried to stay optimistic and hope for a negative test result, but during Christmas break, the concerns were confirmed. As soon as I heard the bad news, I bought flight tickets to visit her, and I was in Spain for the first time the following day.

Upon arriving in the airport, I ran towards her, picked her up in a warm embrace, and gave her a big kiss. Her brother still refers back to this moment and tears up.

I was just beginning my Spanish learning journey, and my girlfriend was the interpreter between me and her family. That setup worked well, but it did get awkward when she had to go to the bathroom leaving me alone in the room with her mother.

I spent the holidays in Spain trying to bring as much joy as I could to my girlfriend before she had to start her intensive treatments. My goal that break was to provide as much affection, support, and love possible before I had to leave. We spent most of our time being tourists in her own city. She loved sharing Spanish culture, food, and beautiful views.

It couldn’t last forever though, and eventually we returned to normal life. I finished my studies and graduated, and she finished all of her treatments as well as her studies. Later that year, she received the “all clear” results proving that she is now healthy and without illness.

Starting from that moment, both of us looked at the specific bureaucracy and options available to us. On her end, we looked at Master’s programs she could pursue that would have internships in the U.S. On my end, I looked for work visas or programs that would allow me to live in Spain.

We often joked that maybe getting married would be our only option, but again, how lame would it be to have a ceremony dedicated to love fulfill the purpose of visa paperwork. In addition to that, we’ve only lived together while dating for a few months.

With regard to a work visa in Spain, you would have to prove that no one within the European Union is qualified to fill whatever position is available. When asking around, some language academies showed interest at first in recruiting a native English speaker to work as a teacher, but as soon as any of the bureaucratic work fell on their responsibility, they quickly disappeared. Besides, after further investigation, we found that it would be almost impossible to go down this route.

I also looked into the auxiliar program and actually signed up. The major concern would be that my placement could be anywhere. If I’m sent to a town in the middle of nowhere, there would be no job prospects for my girlfriend. Still, there was always a chance that my placement would be suitable. The whole process was incredibly confusing though. Even a handful of years ago, there was little to nothing in terms of assistance in the program. Despite how confusing and unorganized the auxiliar program is now, it is nowhere near as confusing as it was in 2018. My application never progressed past “en tramite”.

We quickly ran out of options, so we continued with our own paths. I got a job as an environmental scientist in Indiana, and she continued with a Master’s degree in Seville, accepting an internship in the Netherlands afterwards. We still visited each other as often as possible. Sometimes she would go to Michigan, and other times I would go to Spain.

(By the way, the dog is fine. She was just being dramatic because I had to check methane levels under their property, and I wasn’t giving her scratches while doing my job. She got scratches after I finished.)

It wasn’t until two years later that I found a program that could get us back together. CIEE is an auxiliar de conversacion program that guaranteed a placement in Madrid, and the company she worked for in the Netherlands also had offices there. With the extra assistance from the frankly expensive program, I was able to correctly get through the application and visa process, and through a strong letter of recommendation from her boss, my girlfriend was able to get a position in Madrid. Keep in mind, we made this move in 2020. Spain was one of the hardest hit countries at first during the pandemic, and we were making plans to move to the capital.

*If you are in a similar situation and need to use CIEE, please take advantage of the $200 discount link. (Link available here)

Somehow, everything worked out well. We finally moved in together again in Madrid. Despite having help from CIEE, I still found the bureaucratic process difficult and confusing. I developed a vendetta against the slow, inconsistent, and deliberately convoluted foreign immigration processes, so I kept a meticulous record of each and every step I took and vowed to help anyone else in the same position I was years ago.

In total, we spent 2 years in Madrid before moving to Seville and applying for pareja de hecho. Madrid is a fine city, but it was too hectic and metropolis for both of us.

Pareja de hecho was another long and difficult process. Luckily, we had the help of a lawyer through a family friend connection. We had to make many trips to various offices, notaries, and bureaucrats. In total, it took 8 months after first starting to collect documents to receive residency through pareja de hecho.

How to get Pareja de Hecho

The difficult thing for me personally was the wait. While your residency status is being altered from student visa to visa through family (pareja de hecho), you are unable to work or travel. I was in limbo for multiple months during the early summer heat of Seville. To not go crazy, I decided to use my meticulous notes about the bureaucratic processes I went through and put them on a blog to help others. This work was originally emotionally motivated by an urge to help those in my same situation and an anger against the difficult bureaucracy I went through.

Now, we both live and work in Seville. I still work as an English teacher, but I’m outside of the Auxiliar program. We have a quaint apartment outside of the center, and we’re enjoying normal every day life making sure not to forget how far we both came.

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